I Thought It Was Just Me...

For years, I didn’t know there was a name for what I was feeling. The constant questioning of whether I belonged, am I doing enough, the quiet fear of being “found out,”
as though at any moment, someone would pull back the curtain and realize I wasn’t as capable or qualified as they thought. I chalked my accomplishments up to luck, good timing, or being in the right place at the right moment. I didn’t acknowledge my effort, my talent, my perseverance. It all seemed like a personal flaw. A weakness I just hadn’t grown out of yet.

A long time ago, someone told me I had imposter syndrome. I took it as an insult. Back then, I didn’t understand it. I thought they were saying I didn’t deserve the seat I had worked so hard for. It felt like a dismissal of my journey and my efforts.

But with time, growth, and experience, I’ve realized they weren’t criticizing me, they were naming something I hadn’t yet learned to see for myself.

Imposter syndrome isn’t just self-doubt. It’s a persistent internal narrative that whispers, “You’re not good enough,” even when the evidence proves otherwise. It’s the gap between how others perceive you and how you perceive yourself. And while it may live quietly inside us, it can shape how we show up, how we speak, how we lead, and how we dream.

Today, I sit in rooms I never imagined I’d be in like AAMD Board meetings and retreats, surrounded by people I admire and deeply respect. And yet, part of me still wonders: Do I really belong here?

Every step I’ve taken up the career ladder has come with this same inner dialogue. I look around and see peers I looked up to, some of whom were once mentors, role models, people I once aspired to be like, and I’m shocked at how far I have come. And instead of standing tall in those moments, I sometimes shrink internally, hoping no one sees the doubt I carry.

Because in those moments, I’m not just working to prove to others that I belong…I’m
working to prove it to myself. I come from humble beginnings. The life my husband and I have built, the career I’ve worked so hard for, it’s more than I ever imagined for myself. And yet, when someone compliments me, I’ll often respond with, “I got lucky,” or “Right place, right time,” instead of a simple, confident “Thank you.”

For the longest time, I thought it was just me. But as I began to open up quietly, first to other women in quiet settings over coffee or drinks, and later more openly to men…I began to hear echos of my own thoughts in other peoples stories. High achieving,brilliant professionals who, like me, carried a weight of uncertainty despite their accomplishments. I discovered I wasn’t alone. So many of us carry these same feelings. We doubt. We question. We minimize our own accomplishments. And yet, when I look at the people around me, my colleagues, my peers, my fellow leaders… I don’t see imposters.

I see talent, passion, strength, and dedication. I wish they could see themselves the way I see them. And maybe, just maybe, I need to do the same for myself.

So this is my wish for all of us: Embrace where you are. Raise your hand for that leadership role in AAMD. Go after that promotion.

And when someone tells you how awesome you are…truly listen. You are not an imposter.

And I’ll remind myself of that, too.